Satoshi ServicesThe supplement that doesn't apologise.
ASHWAGEEZER
Man Up. Naturally.
KSM-66® Ashwagandha · 600mg · 60 Capsules
Target ship date: 15 December 2026 · Block ~985,000
🔒 10% deposit secures your jar 🚚 UK delivery free · Worldwide shipping 💰 Cancel any time before ship
The Bloke Stack
Jeremy Clarkson's Medicine Cabinet.
With a Harley Street Doctor's Results.
A bloke's medicine cabinet meets a Harley Street doctor who drinks real ale. Honest, unapologetic, British — and utterly devoid of wellness-industry waffle. No crystals. No chakras. No pastel colours. Just science-backed testosterone support for men who still open jars without wincing.
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KSM-66® Ashwagandha 600mg per serving The gold standard. 14.7% testosterone increase vs placebo. Peer-reviewed. Not Reddit-reviewed.
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Magnesium Bisglycinate 200mg Testosterone cofactor. Fights fatigue. Your muscles need this more than they need a motivational Instagram post.
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Vitamin D3 2,000 IU Britain gets approximately 11 minutes of actual sunlight per year. Your testosterone has noticed. We fix that.
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Zinc (as Citrate) 15mg Essential for testosterone production at the cellular level. Low zinc = low T. It's not complicated.
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BioPerine® Black Pepper 5mg Boosts absorption of everything else by up to 20x. The bouncer that makes sure everything gets in.
“Built for men who still open jars without wincing — and would rather not need a supplement at all.”
Why Ashwageezer
Built for Blokes. Not Browsers.
No Wellness Waffle
Every other brand talks to you like you need a cuddle and a scented candle. We talk to you like the grown man you are. Straight science. No crystals. No chakras. No apologies.
Actual Clinical Doses
600mg KSM-66® — the exact dose used in peer-reviewed trials. Not 50mg buried in a proprietary blend alongside sawdust, pixie dust, and wishful thinking.
Made in London. Available Globally.
GMP-certified British manufacturing in London. Proper oversight. Not knocked up in a grey-market warehouse somewhere exotic. We know exactly what goes in every single capsule — and we ship it worldwide.
Built For Men Like You
Still In The Game.
You were gym-fit at 25. Still active. Still showing up. But the recovery takes longer. The energy dips. The drive isn't quite what it was.
That's not a midlife crisis. That's testosterone. And testosterone can be worked with — without a therapist, a journal, or a sound bath.
- Supports testosterone levels
- Reduces cortisol by up to 27.9%
- Strength & muscle recovery
- Libido & drive
- Stress resilience & wellbeing
On the Brand
This isn’t a manifesto.
It’s just ashwagandha.
KSM-66®, 600mg, made in London.
If that’s not enough,
try a candle.
Pre-Order Now — Limited First Batch
Lock In. Man Up.
Early Bird · No Chakras · Bitcoiner-Friendly · Ships December 2026 · Block ~985,000
Hit 2,100. Get 5,000 sats back.
Got a Lightning address? Share it with your order. The moment we hit 2,100 pre-orders, every backer who left one gets 5,000 sats. No address, no faff — your supplement ships either way.
Sats are a thank-you for backing the first batch and only pay out once we reach 2,100. Cancel pre-ship for a full refund of your deposit at any time.
Reserve Your Jar Pay the 10% deposit in Bitcoin — or by card
Reserve your jar in Bitcoin
Our primary way to pay. Refundable 10% deposit — ≈ £3.50 of £35 — over Lightning or on-chain. We’ll send a Lightning invoice for the balance when your jar ships.
Self-custody via Coinsnap — funds settle straight to our Lightning wallet. No card, no custody, no chargebacks.
Where should we ship your jar?
Enter your details, then pay the £3.50 deposit over Lightning or on-chain.
Donate to make Ashwageezer happen
Anonymous, in sats — no name, no email. Every donor instantly gets our Top 10 Benefits guides (PDF) for all three supplements.
100% anonymous · self-custody via Coinsnap
You backed the build.
Respect. Here's your thank-you — the Top 10 Benefits guide for all three supplements, yours to keep.
Sats received with thanks · self-custody via Coinsnap
Prefer to pay by card?
Payment handled by Stripe · Bank-level security
If we don’t hit 2,100 pre-orders by December 2026, we’ll push the ship date back by 3 months. If we still haven’t hit 2,100 by then, every deposit is refunded in full to your original payment method. Sats are only sent if and when we reach the 2,100 target.
The Brand
Sound Men. Sound Money.
The Bitcoiners were right
about more than the money.
Anyone who's spent five minutes around Bitcoiners has noticed the pattern. Disciplined. Lean. Long time horizons. Anomalously high testosterone for their age. They’ve opted out of debased money — and a fair few of the lifestyle choices that come with it.
You don’t need to own a single sat to take the lesson. The same forces that debase your currency are quietly debasing your hormones: soft work, soft seed oils, soft circadian rhythms, soft expectations. Ashwageezer is one piece of the un-debasing. The rest is up to you.
“If you don’t believe me or don’t get it, I don’t have time to try to convince you. Sound money. Sound men. Sound minds. None of them get printed into existence.”
Questions
FAQs
What is KSM-66® and why does it matter?
KSM-66® is the most clinically studied form of Ashwagandha root extract on earth — backed by 24+ peer-reviewed human trials. The 600mg dose in Ashwageezer is the same dose used in those trials. Most other supplements use 50–250mg of unstandardised extract, hidden inside a "proprietary blend" so you can't tell. We don't.
When will my order ship?
Target ship date is 15 December 2026 (≈ Bitcoin block 985,000). We're manufacturing once we've validated demand with 2,100 pre-orders. If we hit it earlier, we'll send units sooner. If we miss it, see the next question.
What if you don't hit 2,100 pre-orders?
We push the ship date back by 3 months and keep taking pre-orders. If we still haven't hit 2,100 by then, every deposit is refunded in full to your original payment method — no questions, no fees. Sats-back is only paid if we reach 2,100 and ship.
How does the deposit work?
You pay a 10% deposit today to reserve your jar — in Bitcoin (Lightning or on-chain) now, or by card. When your order ships, card deposits auto-charge the remaining 90%, and Bitcoin deposits get a Lightning invoice for the balance. Cancel any time before ship and get the deposit back in full.
Can I cancel my pre-order?
Yes. Email us before your order ships and we'll refund your deposit in full to your original payment method. After ship, our 30-day money-back guarantee applies.
How do I claim my 5,000 sats?
Share a Lightning address with your order (e.g. yourname@walletofsatoshi.com) — that's it. The moment we hit 2,100 pre-orders, every backer who left one gets 5,000 sats sent to their wallet.
No address, no faff — your supplement still ships either way. The sats are a tip of the hat to bitcoiners, not a paywall.
Is it third-party tested?
Every batch is tested for heavy metals, microbials, and active compound concentration by an independent UK lab. The Certificate of Analysis is available on request — and we'll ship a batch number with your jar so you can match the COA to the unit you have in hand.
Where is it manufactured?
GMP-certified contract manufacturer in London. Proper UK regulatory oversight. Not knocked up in a grey-market warehouse somewhere with looser rules.
How long until I notice anything?
Clinical trials on KSM-66® at 600mg/day typically show measurable shifts in cortisol, sleep quality, and testosterone over 8–12 weeks of consistent use. Some users report sleep and stress improvements within 2–3 weeks. It's not caffeine — there's no instant kick. It's a recalibration.